I cannot even fathom how much I laughed at this
im catholic and thats hilarious
HE MADE A FUCKING PUN
HOW DID THIS GET OVER 550 NOTES WITHIN 24 HOURS
"This leaves men confused and unable to pigeonhole you. What they are forced to do instead is… take you seriously."
Reblog every time.
Gas bruh. Gas is hella expensive.
If you kiss my neck… You’re not leaving this room unfucked.
WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????
We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw.
He was almost President.
“Perhaps we’ll meet again when we’re better for each other.”
Ten Word Poem #6 via (poemsbysmm)
This has so much relevance to my life right now.
I’m in the living room and I could hear my mom on the phone down in the basement trying to fix something in the vent. So naturally I went over to the vent and went "OOOoooOOOHHHhhhh DeBORaHH!!!!! ThhIIISSSsss Issss YouRR CONSCIENCEEEEE!!!! ConFEsSS TO thAT MURDER YooouUU CooMMiTtEEDDdd in 1983!!!!"
and all I heard back was
“I’m gonna have to call you back. My kids being a fucking idiot again.”
I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt
im ugly on the inside too